“End of Longing”
You appear, gradually moving forward.
The perspective of time is askew with
Regular movement appearing as slow motion.
Change is so rapid and adjustment is crawling.
No amount of anticipation allows you to draw closer.
Patience and perseverance are the order of the day.
I see you, and keep my eyes affixed
As you are the desire of my heart.
I have been in this place before.
Longing to move toward you with grace and speed.
My heart quickens at the fear that you will remain
Afar and fixed outside my grasp.
And yet, I know that even the sluggishness of time
Will pass and I will stand looking at you within reach.
Calm, and unshakable, your attraction grows stronger.
I pray the ticking of time makes it inevitable.
For me to have you and you to have me.
And contentment will settle in around us.
Wrapping us in the glow of knowing.
For you are the fulfillment of a promise.
I stand in awe wishing for that day in my future.
You are the prize of the game.
And then the realization crashes in around me.
All of this is just a figment of fancy.
There is no distance in this hall of mirrors.
Time neither rushes nor slows.
There is only the perception that you are distant.
In an instant I know that you are here.
You have been available to me in every moment.
I pushed you away in fear and anxiety.
I ignored you in the busyness of my day.
I shut out the call you made to my soul
Because distraction seemed so urgent.
And instead I chose longing over achieving.
This game called life created an illusion.
This gift called peace that I have been craving.
Well, it is already mine.
And with a heavy sigh I allow the dream to end.
I breathe in the knowledge that this peace
Is not around me but in me.
There is nothing that is missing.
There is no action that is needed.
I settle in knowing that I have what I desire.
I mourn the wasting of my time.
I rejoice in the end of the struggle.
I am grateful for the sudden wisdom.
I am at peace.
~ Barbara Bernard Miller