Tag Archive | future

I can just be me


It is true that time heals all wounds. Of course, it goes quicker and smoother if you participate in the process. I haven’t always known that.

For me, some of the healing has taken over 40 years, mostly because of my resistance. The biggest resistance was to my birth mother and all that she represented. It not only put a physical, emotional, and mental distance between me and her, but it also kept me isolated from my siblings. The resistance was fueled by harsh memories, broken promises, blatant lies, and evil acts. So it was by choice that I resisted.

I have come to realize there were blessings which were delayed because the healing was delayed by my resistance. Now, as I let go of the anger and hurt, I find the ability to open my heart to the possibility of merging my birth identity with my adopted identity. Just making that statement brings my heart to the brink of both fear and peace. Can it really be so? Imagining a life that is converged vs. the before and after orphanage lives I’ve been living for many, many years has a great appeal.  This healing brings me face-to-face with the others who lived through the unraveling of a family. I can now see them differently and separate them from the pain of the past. In that separation I am gaining connections. One-by-one and little-by-little I am merging my history with my present. The healing continues …

Because of my faith, and my maturing, healing heart, I can let these connections in so that we all might be whole. Leonard, Theresa, Shirley, Jimmy, Charlotte, Lynnette and William deserve the healing too. The future looks different to me today. I don’t have to give up one identity, to gain the other. I can just be. I can just be … me.

God is good, his timing is perfect, and I am blessed. Be blessed too!

Until Now!


I had a wonderful conversation this weekend that really made me stop and pause. I’m still taking it all in actually but the 2 words she gave me are tiny in “stature” but huge in significance. “Until Now!”

Do you see the power in this? No matter what my complaints about my life, my body, my self esteem, my troubles, my …. whatever, can all be punctuated with the words, “until now”. Until now, that was my story, or that was my reality. Until now I had limits (mostly self-imposed). Until now I struggled. Until now I didn’t see the big picture. Until now.

With that ending of the sentence, I can begin a new way. Now, and going forward I can envision and declare a new way to be and feel and act and react. I am forever grateful for the positive, loving permission to change that “until now” affords me. Thank you Cynthia Segal. Your words and wisdom are powerful and empowering.

“Until now” is changing my life! Will you allow it to change yours too?

Be blessed!