Tag Archive | happiness

Do you have a happiness setpoint?


I read some information today on a coaching website I’m a member of that really shifted my thinking. So often it seems people have a happiness set-point. You know what I mean – they have predictable patterns of happiness throughout their life…  Here’s a few examples:

panic1) The “Down & Out” crowd – Life’s troubles seem to follow them around no matter where they go. One crisis is overcome or averted and the next one is right around the corner. They live their lives in constant panic and stir up panic and drama for others as well. You might describe these folks as the ones being led around by the tail. They aren’t in control of their circumstances and don’t appear to be in control of their happiness.

grumpy2) The “Bah-humbugs” – These folks are hard to please, rarely smile, and life appears to be a bit of a nuisance. The glass is almost always half-empty or down-right bone dry.  These folks tend to have a pessimistic viewpoint on life and definitely bring people around them down. Complaining is their favorite thing to do. They scowl, and really don’t enjoy being around anyone or anything that seems to bring out much joy.

download (1)3) The Middle-of-the-Roaders – Lots of folks find themselves in this place – not much excites them or truly upsets them. Oh sure, they have the big moments – a wedding or a birth that is happy but their emotions don’t seem to match or if they do, it’s kind of brief . Nothing seems to be terribly noteworthy. Life is full of routine. Even their celebrations are routine. Problems are mostly manageable and life is flat, as is their energy level.

Manic-Depression

4) The Ping-Pongers – Whew, this crowd can wear you out from bouncing around to every emotion – really high to really low. I’m not talking about the clinically bipolar – these are folks that just seem to be whipped around by extremes. Wow their enthusiasm is contagious when life is good. But the lows can bounce them around at whiplash speed. Their energy is highly unpredictable and it might be hard to keep up with which kind of day it’s going to be. Heck, it might be 5 different kinds of day all wrapped into one. As a matter of fact, their happiness set-point appears to be stuck on spinning.

happy5) The Happy-Go-Lucky – These folks seem to have figured out how to be happy most of the time. They tend to be optimistic, seeking the silver lining whenever possible. It’s not that life doesn’t have it’s challenges, they just have found a way to stay happy in spite of it all. They find something to be joyful about in every day. They can draw you in and it just feels good to be around them.

Did you see yourself in any of these descriptions? While you might find you aren’t exactly like any of them 100% of the time, there definitely seems to be trends in life. It shows up in our outlooks, demeanor, and energy. It appears that perhaps people really do have a happiness set-point, like a magnet it pulls them back time and time again to the same spot.

BUT … what if it’s only how you think about the concept of happiness. If a person no longer thinks about happiness as a destination – it’s not the place you’ll end up, but it’s the mode of transportation no matter where you go. It can be a choice in attitude. What if you considered … are you WILLING to be happy consistently? It would take a bit of pondering to look at your habits, your beliefs – both those that serve and those that limit. What if happiness isn’t what happens to your life, but who you are as you are living your life. Isn’t life way more fun when we choose how to live it?

What if  …

Consider who you are being on this happy trail of life. Be happy, and be blessed!

Joyful Yes


This week I had a gentle reminder of something that’s been on my “bucket list” for a very long time. It’s a small thing really, but a desire that was planted in the wee early days of my career. The “what” is not important. What is important is that, with the courage to speak a desire, even one that seems frivolous or unimportant to others, I find power in my voice. And the resulting “yes” strengthens my resolve to continue to create the life I want.

It sometimes surprises me to remember, or is it realize, that I really do have the power to get the things I want. The obstacles are rarely real. Whether it be the fear to ask. The shyness of being judged. The assumption that our desires are not important enough. Or that others hold the key to achieving our goal. How many times does this lesson come around? And the answer is still the same – SPEAK into possibility the thing you want, and BELIEVE it into existence by ACTION. Well, that and persistence, sometimes.

I know from speaking to many wiser and more experienced people that it is the little commitments to ourselves that we  keep which fuel our spirit. And in my own wisdom, which has been hard-won, I know that happiness is situational but joy is an enduring mindset. If I have to choose one – I choose joy. Because joy is not about the emotion in the moment but about an attitude of appreciation along the journey.

I wish for you a joyful “yes” for something on your bucket list. Go for it and be blessed!

For the love of WW&B!


“In daily life we must see, that it’s not happiness that makes us grateful

but gratefulness that makes us happy.” ~ Unknown

Last night was a precious night – the kind that comes around about once a month for me. You see, I have a wonderful group of friends that gathers together once a month. We are affectionately known as Wise Women & Bill (WW&B). And when we come together we enjoy so much – a little wine, yummy food,  community and sharing, spirituality and personal development, and hugs – always good and comforting hugs.

This group of women and Bill provide something that no other group of friends I’ve ever had, ever did. There is freedom of expression and unconditional acceptance. I’ve never heard a cross word or a judgemental statement among them. There is no rivalry or competition, no jealousy or resentment. The underlying premise of the gathering is that each person is precious and appreciated. There’s nothing in the world like that purpose or practice of friendship. This is such a unique group of friends and kindred spirits.  This is not a church group as everyone comes from different faiths and belief systems. But we deliberately and intentionally learn and grow spiritually from each other and those that we invite to share their gifts and wisdom.

     

I am renewed every time we gather. Even when I’m beat down tired I make sure that I go because I will inevitably leave renewed and alive. Enjoying my time with them is one of the ways that I pause and take care of me in these busy times.

For all those who gather at the WW&B space I am grateful. I am grateful for the authenticity, generosity, giggles, and tenderness with which we interact with each other. I am grateful for the spirit of giving and sharing. I am grateful for the sense of knowing and questioning. I am grateful for the space to learn and explore. I am grateful for the steady hugs and occasional tears. I am grateful for friends who see me through their hearts and not just through their minds.

I am grateful and happy. Be blessed!