Tag Archive | heaven

I AM – an original poem


I AM

Sitting in silence I look, I wait.

I do not hear the rustle of movement but I feel you move.

I stand flush with excitement as I know you are near.

Hearing your whisper, my spirit sinks into your comforting embrace.

With Spirit surrounding my mind there is peace.

I press my heart closer to heaven

To hear you words more clearly.

I am swept away with soul listening.

Mesmerized by the timber of your voice.

I speak not just to you, but with you.

Whole.

Blessed.

I am.

~ Barbara Bernard Miller

Image

Aunt Jean, you are loved!


Aunt Jean 9-2-38 to 6-10-13Yesterday my Aunt Jean passed away. I didn’t see it coming, frankly. She’s been sick many times and with prayers from so many, she always had the grace of God behind her healing and pulled through. But yesterday was her “Going Home” day and our prayers were answered differently.

It was a tough day yesterday. I heard of 5 deaths, ranging from an infant, to a young man in his 20’s, to a girl battling cancer, to an expert in his field, and finally, sadly, to my Aunt. My heart was so heavy with that news.

Aunt Jean was actually my aunt in my birth family. At the age of 19 she recognized me out at the mall. I was shocked but as I grew to know her, I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. She always had her eye out for me and my siblings who were placed in an orphanage years ago. She had the memory of an elephant – she could remember details and tell stories like no other. Although she hadn’t seen me since I was 3, she said she knew my eyes and that was it. I must admit, I wasn’t always emotionally ready for the heaping and mixing of birth family and adopted (what I call my “real” family). And through the years I bobbed and weaved in and out of Aunt Jean’s hugs. It didn’t really matter. She was steadfast. She was patient. She was faithful. And when, in my 40’s I was finally ready to be whole, she was waiting for me without hesitation. She shared pictures, and stories … and love. I will never forget her generous heart and her happy laugh. She was an angel to me in many ways. We used to fantasize about what it would have been like if she had been my birth mother instead of my Aunt. Those were fun little fantasies and I knew, there was something special in her that allowed her reach out through the turmoil and the years to recognize me.

My heart is heavy from this loss. There were still words and stories unspoken. But I count myself blessed for having been given the chance to get to know her. I got to cry with her, laugh with her, break bread with her, and pray with her. What could be better. And now, I know she is singing and dancing with the love of her life, Uncle Norbert, as they praise at Heaven’s throne. I love you Aunt Jean. As a  fellow writer I wrote this simple little poem for you.

See you on the other side! Be BLESSED!

“The tears I shed are bittersweet,
And with hand to heart I pray.
That your joy in heaven be complete,
As we say good bye today.
The hole we feel as our lives go on,
Will only hurt a while.
I’ll keep my eyes on eternity’s gate,
Where I’ll once again see your smile.”
~ Barbara Bernard Miller

Whiff of Heaven


Once a year I get a little whiff of heaven. You see, while I enjoy all the flowers, bushes, and trees that go on colorful parade in the Spring, I have one favorite. The lilac – she is a delicate beauty that fills the air with a heady sweetness delighting my senses. From the wide range of pinks, whites, lavenders, and purples I bask in the beauty of her gown. With her fragrance I am blessed with sweet memories of both my Grandpas, who had lilacs in their yards. It also brings back sentimental moments, sitting with my kids on the swing in the yard. In those moments I enjoyed both the fragrance of lilac’s sweet perfume and the music of my children’s voices as they shared their day and their confidences with me. Both such fleeting, precious treasures. It is a breath of heaven that is a treat which  lingers in the air for such a brief time that it leaves me longing for more.

This is the week my lilacs are in full bloom and I’m delighted to be off work for a few days. It gives me the opportunity to smell them all through my house, and even in my dreaming hours. It is the small blessings that make each day a treat.

Here’s a picture of a bouquet on my bedroom dresser that lulls me to sleep and wakes me with the first breeze of my morning. Enjoy my favorite and be blessed!