Tag Archive | learning

A lesson in trust


Today I learned a lesson in trust. Not because someone broke my trust but because they didn’t. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in my fears. When I look at new situations with the suspicions of the past I have done a disservice to both myself and the person I’m dealing with. They can neither know our pains nor anticipate our buttons.

And what I learned today is that while holding onto my own fear and my own self preservation I didn’t see theirs. I didn’t recognize the signs of their pain. I didn’t  know they had the same lesson in their life. Patience, compassion, and the willingness to take a risk allowed us both to share and see the other side. It wasn’t  easy but it was worth it. And I was able to move from fear to freedom. As the Bible says, “the truth shall set you free.”

I have come a long way in learning lessons from my past. So I choose to acknowledge that and pick up with a new possibility. I choose to look at the future as bright, not as bleak. I choose to leave the person who hurt me behind in exchange for a new slate with someone else. I’m glad I had the lesson today. I’m glad I spoke out and I’m glad I pushed myself to be open. In the end, the lesson I learned in the past has opened me up to the sweetness of trust in my today.

Be open. Be trusting. And be blessed!

Who needs to know you?


You know the old adage – “It’s not what you know but who you know.” Well as with most old sayings, there is of course, some truth in that statement. I venture to say it’s an 80/20 split in the case of who/what you know. In life, we are all born into a community – by our nature we are in relationships. We are connected and that’s really all we know. Our every achievement and learning has come because we either heard it, saw it, or was physically directed by another to learn it.

I’m not sure why anyone would venture into the “real world” and think it would be any other way. And yet, I frequently hear people making that statement as if this is a foreign concept. Rather than disdain this fact of living as social beings, I believe we should not only practice it to learn and connect but we should do it in both directions.

What do I mean by that? Well, when we need to know or get something, we go to the closest “expert” to ask. One person directs us to another and we network our way into moving ahead, either in knowledge or in career, etc. But how many times do we look around to see who needs to know us? Do you have a spirit for teaching but hesitate to reach out to do that? Do you have expertise, experience, or knowledge that would change someone else’s life, or even the direction of their struggle, but talk yourself out of sharing? I often wonder what is it in our nature or raising that makes us hesitate to share without being asked. Do we have to let people struggle to “earn” their right to proceed or succeed? I think not, but I am discouraged at times by the way we live in a society that cherishes taking care of our own and letting the rest be damned.

I can’t tell you how badly my life would have gone if that was the case for me. Not everyone gets the privilege of being born into a family or situation that edifies and lifts them up and guides their way. I am ever grateful that as a child I was given a hand out. Out of poverty. Out of abuse. Out of despair, dysfunction, and possible destruction. I was also given a hand up – people who didn’t know me chose to love me. I learned to live in a family that gave without question. They were generous with time as well as with resources. They lived their faith through volunteerism and I was blessed to live with and learn from them. I have tried to instill that in my family. I know I crave the opportunity to give back as a way to balance the books for what was given to me.

Sometimes, on our better days, I wish we would see more examples of people voluntarily sharing and networking who and what they know on behalf of someone else and not just for themselves.

Ask yourself – who do  you know? Who else needs to know them too? Join me in looking for who needs to know you and me. And be blessed!

I’m okay with that!


After my lovely, solitary, and yet happy Valentine’s day yesterday, I realized something about myself. Oh, I’m probably just joining the ranks of many folks my age who are coming “into their own”. I realized that I am finally at peace with who I am in my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I have it all figured out or that my learning and growth is complete. No way – I love to (and need to) learn. I’m not saying all is sunshine and holidays. Nope – life has many ups and downs and I know I’ll experience many more of both. And I’m definitely not saying I’ve got the answers to my foibles and shortcomings, because I’m still working on those til my dying day. But I am finally at peace with this person I call me.

As a parent, I can look at my children and know that I did the best I could in every moment I’ve had raising them. Some were not stellar moments for me but it was the best I had to give at the time. Some stood out as the best of the best of me, which can only be attributed to the up raising I had by the wonderful family who adopted me, as well as the faith I have carried within. As I move dauntingly and quickly toward empty-nest status, I know I have done my job well and raised two human beings who have an appreciation for life and respect for others. They also are not perfect but they are good human beings. I have given them a moral foundation that they may or may not cling to, but I have provided it. I have scrimped and sacrificed so they could get the best education within my means. As my youngest is about to be 21, I am painfully aware that I have shifted roles from mommy to mom/friend. I’m okay with that.

As a woman, I can look at my life and know that I have not always taken the high road or the right road. But I can say I’ve come 180 degrees from the flippant, self-conscious, insecure girl who made bad choices to fill the holes in her heart. I may still have some holes in my heart but I know I can’t fill them with men who do not appreciate or respect me. I cannot fill them with self-destructive self-talk or behaviors. I can only examine them, learn from them, and fill the rest of my life with things for which I have a passion. I know for certain that I will never turn my weaknesses into strengths but I can work to neutralize them.  The holes – well, those are for God to fill. I’m okay with that.

As a friend, I know I’ve made a few cherished ones along my lifetime. They are precious and constant, no matter the distance of time or space. They are unconditional and truly genuine. On my end, I know that I am loyal and supportive. I may not always be perfect, or do the perfect thing, or say the perfect thing, or have the perfect memory. I can say that I am always true in my intention and love of those who I’m blessed to call mine. I’m okay with that.

As a Christian, I know that I have God in my life. In every up and down I’ve traveled through, I have never wavered in my knowledge that I am loved and I will be okay. As I like to say, God hasn’t abandoned me yet, I’m pretty sure he’s not going to start today. I have learned that it’s just fine for me to speak my faith. I don’t need to hide it. I don’t need to scream it. I can speak and show my faith without tearing down what others believe. I do not need to convince others of what I believe or know – I couldn’t if I tried. I simply need to live my faith and share my story.  The rest is their journey. I’m okay with that.

I say all this, not because I have a perfect life. Haha, that is hysterical because I have a decidedly imperfect life. I make mistakes all the time and I chastise myself for them too. I know I’ll forgive myself but I won’t forget. I have troubles and strife that seem to shadow me to a point that is nearly unbearable. But in the end, I know that I am a survivor and not a victim. I have scratched and clawed myself to a level of integrity and faith that only trouble can guide me to. I know I’m an imperfect woman with a desire to improve all the time. I’m okay with that.

So, through it all and in it all, I am finally at peace with who I am. I pray you can be at peace … and be blessed too!

Healing


This week I had a converstion with a friend about the science of healing.  Most people think of healing as that in the physical – requiring biology, medicine, and technology.  What we often forget about is the other aspects of healing.  Healing of hearts, minds, emotions, spirit, friendships, relationships and soul.  There is a “science” to each of these healings but they aren’t about the physical sciences you learn about in school.

For example – I have recently become the owner of a puppy which has it’s challenges and it’s rewards.  One of the unexpected outcomes was the ability to receiving healing from this puppy.  It’s such a synergistic relationship.  She relies on me for food, water, exercise, time, and those essentials.  But I have come to rely on her for the healing of my energy after a day of work or problem solving.  Yes, there’s the obvious unconditional love that we all know about.  I mean a deeper healing.  When we find ourselves staring deeply into the eyes of another creature or person there’s an energy exchange that is healing.  Oh, this sounds kind of silly when I read it on the screen but it’s real and I’m just becoming aware more and more lately about energy exchange and what it feels like and what it looks like.  I already know about what this is like with other people but was surprised to feel it from an animal.

So … now I’m on a journey to learn about healing energies.  Join me?

Dreaming


Dreaming … lately I’ve been finding myself doing much more dreaming. Not the kind when you go to sleep and you never know if you are going to have a good one or a bad one. I mean the kind of dreaming when you get to create the future you want to have. Day dreaming. Over the past several years I’ve been doing alot of research, reading, learning, and listening about this concept of creating our own reality. I’ve come to believe in it on many levels. Sure you hear about the law of attraction as it relates to money because that’s what we often think about wanting to attract. (It works by the way.) But I’ve also learned that the law of attraction is much deeper than that. I attract like minded people and the experiences I fret about or focus on. But I also attract spiritual awakening and emotional healing. Part of that is about setting the intention to be open and receiving it. I’ve learned how to do that. Part of it is in the willingness to open my hands and heart wide enough to loosen the grips on the barriers I set. Whether that is a long held belief or an assumption about what others think about my own ability or what I think about what’s possible – I have to be aware of letting it go.

As the cliche goes, the more I know the more I know I don’t know. Same here. I don’t know how it all works. I don’t know what other barriers I haven’t bumped into yet that need to be released. I don’t yet know how big my dreams can go. But I keep on dreaming. I start posing questions to myself, like, “If money wasn’t an issue I’d ….” or “If I could achieve my biggest success I’d …” or “If anyone could walk into my world I’d pick …” These kinds of day dreams are different than the one’s I used to have where I would day dream about tripping, or getting lost, or having a disagreement, or having just enough to get by … or not.

So I ask you – are you dreaming? What kinds of dreams do you have? Are they big enough? Wildly fantasic enough? Are they ambitious enough? Are they motivational enough?

Come dream with me!