Tag Archive | pain

Catching up ….

Ahhh, I have been missing the joys of blogging with you, my friends. Work has gotten the best of my schedule and my energy the last few days. I took a couple of days off, had some fun in Indianapolis and then hit the ground running at work again. I have made a few attempts to get online and write incredibly inspirational things … well, that was my intention. What really happened was that I stared at the monitor and my mind was blank. Just like the static filled  TV screens of days-gone-by.  I did not want to subject you to the crickets chirping in my rather uninspired head, so I let myself rest.

These last few days I find myself doing work that is stretching my brain. Like all exercise, it is both pain and pleasure. Keeping all the balls in the air and checking, double checking, correcting, and then checking and checking again all the numbers and data is, well, not my most enjoyable job task. Can I do it – yes. Do I wanna – not usually. Will it end – yes, but dear GOD, when???  But it doesn’t really matter – it is critical for the work at hand. So I stretch that muscle and find that thankfully, it stretches but doesn’t snap. Yes, I have a few more bleary-eyed evenings in front of the computer screen, and perhaps an extra head-ache or two but that’s really just fatigue. The beauty is that I am reconfirming the strength of my knowledge and the agility of my mind to focus and expand, focus and expand.

And along the way I am connecting with family and friends, wallowing in the excitement of future wedding plans for my son, and missing my daughter with all my heart.

I hope that you are able to manage having a balance of relaxation and excitement in your summer. Hopefully no data filled, bleary-eyed nights for you!

Stay cool and be blessed!

Walk On – original poem


It’s true the words they sing in the songs.

Where it’s a fantasy to try to right the wrongs.

Of a word cast afloat in the sea of spite.

When those who hurt me think they are right.

I love with arms flung open wide.

And grieve in pain when cast aside.

When I let them in I took the chance.

That love would out last every circumstance.

But alas the dream comes to an end.

When the one I love disappears in the bend.

And I am left with questions spinning my head.

And looking for answers in the words I’ve read.

It’s those who are closest that seem to manage.

The deepest cuts and the broadest damage.

Time will mend my heart once more.

Life doesn’t end with the close of a door.

With lessons learned and tears now dry.

I will lift my head and walk on with a sigh.

~ Barbara Bernard Miller





Have you ever noticed that what we often need is the opposite of what the “pain” makes us think?

I recently had a minor knee injury that I avoided handling when it was starting until it became much more painful and made me limp. In my stubborn and misguided mindset I thought I could just “walk it off”. In the end I did some doctoring and began working with a physical therapist. On more than just the physical level I found what I needed in the very thing I had avoided. The injury is healing nicely and progress is quick.

And in the midst of this physical situation I learned about life in general.You see, when my hamstring was suffering I learned I need to strengthen the thigh in the front. When my back is weak I need to strengthen my abs. It’s a matter of balance and compensation. It makes sense once I realized that one was compensating for the pain in the other and carrying all the weight. In order to mend I need to lean on the strength of the healthy muscles and build up the weaker ones.

And so it is in many ways. When we feel lonely we often withdraw instead of reaching out. When we are in pain we sometimes lash out for protection instead of asking for help. We push away those who love us in fear that they will hurt us. Do you recognize yourself in any of these scenarios? What is really true is we need to build the “other muscle” in order to heal and get what we need. It’s a simple concept but one that we talk ourselves out of for ego or fear-based reasons.

What if we knew we could trust? What if we knew we would receive help? What if our needs were not secret but rather they became satisfied. All good things to ponder.  So, what do you think?

Share and be blessed!

Love and Love Again

I am constantly reminded of the resilience of the human heart. People often remark about the ability of young children to recover and bounce back so quickly. But I am also aware of how well adult hearts do the same thing. We may not notice it as readily because we analyze and feel hurts so deeply. Not that children don’t but adults understand the big picture and the impact, consequence, and permanence of deaths, break-ups, and losses at a level children do not.

I also see the progress forward in deep and meaningful ways in the hearts of adults. I am in awe at the ability of our spirit to learn from what has caused us pain and to adjust accordingly. And even in the midst of pain we can keep moving. I have seen many a heart broken only to watch that same person allow themselves to love again within a relatively short time. I have watched while tragedy strikes and loved ones pass to the next life. And despite the pain and mourning, the survivors move day-by-day into healing. They will never be able to forget those loved ones and no-one thinks they should. However, they are able to let other joys come back into their lives, a little at a time.

I know that pain is a portion of this earthly life. And life does, without fail, keep moving. The heartaches mold our sensitivity and compassion. The losses teach us our vulnerability and our boundaries. But through it all and in spite of it all, we rebound and learn to love, play, and live again, resiliently.

It is an amazing creation, this human heart. Love and love again, and be blessed!