I’ve been pondering the concept of trust alot lately. I want to trust. I think we all do. So I have been searching. It is an illusive thing and when I look at where I can place my trust – truly – the list of possibilities gives me pause.
Can I trust my emotions – nope, those are fickle, fleeting things. Can I trust my memories – I find more and more that I cannot because memory is only snippets of experiences seen through my lens from my angle, which is not the whole story. Can I trust the words and actions of others – sometimes, but people are imperfect and influenced by many things. Can I trust my thoughts – not really because my mind is limited and as the saying goes – it is our prerogative to change our mind. Can I trust what I hear, read, and see – well, that can be a fool’s journey for we do not know and rarely can verify what is an illusion, half-truth, down right lie, or incomplete accounting. Can I trust my faith – I hope so, but that is really a question of can I trust myself for faith is based on what I have learned thus far. Faith can be tested. Faith can be misguided. Faith isn’t about what I “know”, it’s about what I “believe”. As I look back over my journey of faith I find that every time I expand my awareness or deepen my faith – what I believed to be true before was only partial knowing.
I search and seek the answer. At the end of my mental listing I find there is only one thing that I can trust – and that is God (Source, Oneness or whatever word you choose). God, having created me in his (or her) image is the essence of all that is good in me. God isn’t an entity I “believe” in. God is my source, who I know in the very core of my soul. God gives love, speaks love and never wavers in that position. Many teach that we should fear the wrath and judgment of God, but it is my only experience that God is gentle and kind. God does does not judge as humans do but rather based on who he is, not who I am. And God is unfailing, unconditional love. Unconditional meaning there is no condition under which he does not love me, accept me, forgive me. God NEVER rejects me. God is the one place where my trust has never come back unanswered. God is not ever the source of my pain – life and the free will of myself or others may be. But God is where my rest, my comfort, my completion can be found. This is what I can trust.
Be blessed, dear friends, as you go on your quest of life and discover your source of trust.