Open Letter to Dr. Wayne Dyer

Dear Dr. Wayne Dyer,

Today in my mind’s eye, I have seen with crystal clarity the look in your eye – the recognition and the remembering. I know. And I share this with you so that you too may know.

You have heard the praises of many from every corner of the world. You have inspired noblemen and housewives. You have lit the path of poor, lonely, and mighty masters of this universe. You are a blessing and I am grateful for the path that led your words into my life. In reading and listening to your wisdom I have come to recognize that which I have created – both my misery and my victory. And I recognize that in the words of God and the wise sages of time, everything that needs to be known has been spoken before. In time before time we crafted these lives, these bodies, and this path. We devised a purpose that would bring ourselves and others closer to Divinity. And we are living that purpose today. You in your corner of the universe, and me in mine.

As I look into my future through the eyes of my desires, imagination, and creation I see myself standing next to you. We meet, friend to friend and soul to soul. In that moment in time we shall pass wisdom and knowledge back and forth from all that we know and all that we wish to learn. And once again, we shall know that our paths have crossed before. And I will look again into your eyes and see communion with God.

I know not when. I know not how. But I know … we shall speak again. Until then, be blessed my friend and mentor. Namaste.

 

 

 

Farewell to a Friend – Andy Griffith

Today the world says good-bye to an icon of my generation. I remember watching Andy Griffith, the widowed sheriff as he raised his young son Opey among friends in The Andy Griffith Show. He was a role model of patience with the wacky residence of his little town. I loved the slow-paced sleepy NC town that was portrayed. There wasn’t a stranger amongst them and Andy was the level-headed leader. He was a great role model.

And as he got older I also enjoyed his portrayal of Matlock, the cranky older lawyer who never lost a case. In spite of his curmudgeonly moods, you could still see the gentle, kind spirit of the man behind the character.

And he was a champion for the community he lived in. On one of my vacations I remember doing some sightseeing in NC and heard so much about all that he did for this home town and the surrounding areas. As a matter of fact, I don’t recall ever hearing a bad word about him. He was a loyal husband and friend to those he came in contact with. He was an actor, a singer, a role mode, strong and faithful Christian, and friend (if only in my active TV-based imagination).

Farewell Andy – you left a good and positive mark on my generation and the people who actually knew you. I hope you have a grand time on the other side hanging out with Barney, Gomer, Goober and the gang just whistling a tune or two.

Be blessed!

Technology is my friend … today

Some days I do not believe that technology is my friend. However, today it was very helpful. We have a cleaning staff at work that is mostly Hispanic. Some are relatively new to the US. They work hard and they are learning English as they go. I don’t have any issues with that because I know they are here legally, they are doing their best, and they are providing for their family. They, like all of my ancestors, are the first generation Americans of the future. And they will learn more and more over time. I applaud their courage to plunge themselves and their families into a new life in a new homeland. No idea if I’d really have that courage.

In the meantime, and back on track … today I was trying to talk to one of the ladies with a request for my work area. It became a giggle fest as I tried hard to recall a few bits of my Spanish and she tried hard to work around her new English. Needless to say, what we both knew did not quite overlap and cover the question of my cleaning request for my desktop. Thus the cultural divide was apparent.

Ahhhh, but then the miracles of Google were availed. I quickly found an English to Spanish/Spanish to English translator program. We had a quick conversation that was much more effective, and of course satisfying.  I was reminded of a few words I didn’t remember and she was quickly able to respond. Way to go Google!

What’s your favorite way to get the most of technology – got a favorite app or website? Do share and be blessed!

Spring Night in Cincinnati

Last night was a dreamy, warm Spring night here in Cincinnati, and I’m happy that I got to spend time with one of my dearest friends. Since we’ve moved roles at work and live on opposite sides of town we don’t get to see each other very much. But we have fun when we do. And last night was no different although there was a festive spirit in the air to make it even better.

We had a wonderful dinner at a great Brazilian restaurant, Boi Na Braza. The food was excellent and the “gouchos” who brought the 15 varieties of meat around were attentive, friendly, and had a never-ending supply of their gifts. As my friend joked, it was like eating our way into a tasty meat coma. It’s pricey but it was a feast for the senses that makes for a nice treat every once in a while.

We had a show with our meal as well. There was the live music going on inside the restaurant accented by the parade of prom dresses that passed by the window where we were sitting. We had a free fashion show and enjoyed watching the young girls teetering around in their 5 in heals with their matching dates and floating material of their ball gowns flowing behind. We saw lovely cinderella-esque gowns, slinky short numbers with puffs of tulle, and the barely there sexy numbers with cut-out sides, and lots and lots of sequins. There were colors of every variety as the young couples strutted toward their long-awaited Prom night or whisked around Fountain Square in a decorated horse-drawn carriage. There was romance in the air for sure!

After the meat feast we decided to walk it off a bit and meandered around the square and around a few blocks. The fountain is such a lovely landmark that is the heart of many memories from my home town. The warm spring breeze was just perfect and people watching was again at its optimum. The little ones were having fun running around as their parents visited and kept an eye on them all. A “friendly” gentleman stopped by for a brief chat – couldn’t decide what made him stop by to flirt but we appreciated the compliments. He was harmless and friendly then he glided into the night. The mounted police stopped by to water their horses at the fountain which brought squeals of delight from the kids who came running to pet them. It was the perfect spot to sit a spell and chat about old times and memories.

To top off the night there were fireworks popping a couple blocks away lighting the sky over the mighty Ohio river. We took a quick walk just in time to see the colorful grand finale of the show. Our spontaneous night out turned out to be the perfect, slow-moving evening. I could almost image what it would have been like 100 years ago – much the same with the mounted police, the families celebrating a beautiful night, and lots of people watching. It was just exactly what I needed to connect with my friend, my city, and enjoy some respite from the  craziness of the work weeks lately.

I am blessed. Be blessed too!

 

Pass the tissues please!

My friend Patricia has taught me many things over the years. She’s a motivational speaker, trained facilitator, personal and professional coach. I first met her when I was a student in her training class in my early career. She was poised, confident, and gracious. I was immediately aware that she was also a kindred spirit. I’ve been privileged over the years to hear her speak many times. I’ve learned a lot about assertiveness, connection, community, and acceptance. I’ve learned how to ask for what I need and to be gracious in the face of difference. Throughout the years I’ve known her, I’ve heard her say many times, “When you have goosebumps or tears, you are closest to the truth.” She’s a wise woman, my friend Patricia.

You see, for my entire life I have been a crier. Just this morning as I was talking to a co-worker about a mutual friend who has gone through many health issues, and now a death in the family, I needed to grab for a tissue. I used to loathe this part of me. Having the tears well up against my will was frustrating at best. And the harder I tried to contain them, the more they would appear. I’m not talking about boohooing and sobbing – I don’t really do that kind of crying. I’m talking about the tears that appear spontaneously and slide quietly, and without permission down my cheeks. They were forever an enemy because they made me feel vulnerable at times when that was not what I wanted to portray. The hardest is when they would show up at work. My body was having a physical reaction and my brain was not in compliance.

Over the years I’ve come to accept that this is part of who I am. I don’t cry because I’m weak, or for attention, or because I want sympathy, or for manipulation. My body cries because I feel things very deeply. Which emotion causes them may vary but the intensity of emotions are always they same. The energy of those emotions have to come out somehow and this is how my body manages them. I’ve been told that I am an empath and as I learn about that I’ve come to understand so much more. I feel things deeply and completely. I can feel what others feel. I don’t mean I can understand what others feel – I actually feel what they feel. I used to be both bewildered and embarrassed by this because it caused tears to flow when it wasn’t “my stuff”. I’ve been laughed at by my kids for crying at tender moments in a movie (yep, almost every movie has one), or touching commercials, or weddings, funerals, births, from a touching song, or a poignant sermon, etc. I remember at work one time a colleague was announcing his retirement. I could feel everything – his pride, his fear, is excitement, his reluctance, and his celebration. He was a quiet, introverted man and he was not able to articulate any of these things … but I felt them and the tears began to slide.

Now, as I look back on things I am beginning to see them a little differently. I can’t say I never feel self-conscious when the tears sneak up on me because I do as a first reaction. But I can say that I’ve learned to embrace this as a gift most of the time. I’ve seen when my tears came that others have felt connected. They have been the start of deep, connecting conversations that might never have happened otherwise. They have inspired others to allow theirs words or tears to flow without being embarrassed. They have been a tool for others and a release for me.

What gifts do you have that you resist? Do you know the power they hold for you and others in your life? I wonder.

Be blessed!

 

 

 

How do I do that?

You hear a lot these days about living with purpose, following your passion, and creating the life of your dreams. All wonderfully enlightened and lofty phrases. Maybe – but they are also very achievable. Usually though, I quickly hear those statements followed by outcries of “What does that mean?” or “How do I do that?” The pull between desire and lack of practical understanding is creating the struggle.

I don’t have “THE” answer but I can share what I’ve learned on my journey. Primarily, I’ve learned that living with purpose is all-encompassing. It’s not just the big achievements and life-changing things. It’s being purposeful about our attitude, our gratitude and our habits. Start there. And when it is about achievements, I have learned 3 simple, practical steps:

1) CHOOSE – I truly believe that what draws us, attracts us, or what we dream of are all messages from our unconscious mind about the path we should be walking. It makes sense really – I won’t gloriously create that which I don’t find alluring. I know some people find themselves paralyzed into inaction because they are waiting for God to direct them. Ummmm – I think our intuition and desires are that very direction. But that’s just me. So, that’s where I start … what do I feel tugging on my heart? There are some things that are consistent themes throughout my life (connecting with people). And there are others that suddenly appear with great appeal or urging (writing my books). Actually, it was a sudden urge that loosed creativity upon me in my late 20’s and it hasn’t subsided yet. Whenever I feel the tug, I examine it and ultimately, I choose it.
2) DISCOVER – This is the trickier part for me because I find that I am drawn to, and subsequently choose, things that I have no knowledge about or previous exposure to. It figures! And I find myself saying “What the heck do I do with this desire?” And my follow-up response is always the same – research. We are blessed to be in the age of connection and information. At our fingertips, day and night we can search for what, when, where, and how of just about anything. So if the spirit moves me at 3 am when I can’t sleep I can actually do something about it. If I ask enough friends, someone will know something or someone who can help me move to the next level of understanding. The discovery phase can take a while but it’s part of the fun, really. I feel lucky and blessed in this way.
3) ACT – Ah, now we get into the “dangerous” part of truly living with passion!  I have found this to get a little less scary as I practice it, but it’s still a process. You see, if I act, then people will know what I’m up to. Someone might judge me or my worthiness, ability, or skill. While discovery takes curiosity, action takes valor. I’ve had to muster up the courage to call an acquaintance that I didn’t know well, or the friend of a friend of a friend, or email someone I found on the web. None of it was comfortable but all of it was in line with my choice. If I was going to be able to move forward, I had to connect.

That’s it. Nothing spectacularly secretive about my 3 steps or my methods. It doesn’t require me to buy a book, take a class, or learn at the feet of a master. But these steps have worked for me. Do I do everything with passion – no, certainly not. Do I live with purpose, yes, I do. Am I creating the life of my dreams and following my passions – indeed. And I am, in this middle stage of life, finding that the more I follow this path, the more I am surrounded by others who are in support of me. As my friend Martha often says, “The universe cooperates with a made-up mind.” And so it does. I am more grounded, comfortable in my skin, and more motivated to do even more.

If you are struggling with your desire to move forward in life with purpose, passion, or to create your desired life, I invite you to choose, discover, and act as well. And be blessed!

I’m okay with that!

After my lovely, solitary, and yet happy Valentine’s day yesterday, I realized something about myself. Oh, I’m probably just joining the ranks of many folks my age who are coming “into their own”. I realized that I am finally at peace with who I am in my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I have it all figured out or that my learning and growth is complete. No way – I love to (and need to) learn. I’m not saying all is sunshine and holidays. Nope – life has many ups and downs and I know I’ll experience many more of both. And I’m definitely not saying I’ve got the answers to my foibles and shortcomings, because I’m still working on those til my dying day. But I am finally at peace with this person I call me.

As a parent, I can look at my children and know that I did the best I could in every moment I’ve had raising them. Some were not stellar moments for me but it was the best I had to give at the time. Some stood out as the best of the best of me, which can only be attributed to the up raising I had by the wonderful family who adopted me, as well as the faith I have carried within. As I move dauntingly and quickly toward empty-nest status, I know I have done my job well and raised two human beings who have an appreciation for life and respect for others. They also are not perfect but they are good human beings. I have given them a moral foundation that they may or may not cling to, but I have provided it. I have scrimped and sacrificed so they could get the best education within my means. As my youngest is about to be 21, I am painfully aware that I have shifted roles from mommy to mom/friend. I’m okay with that.

As a woman, I can look at my life and know that I have not always taken the high road or the right road. But I can say I’ve come 180 degrees from the flippant, self-conscious, insecure girl who made bad choices to fill the holes in her heart. I may still have some holes in my heart but I know I can’t fill them with men who do not appreciate or respect me. I cannot fill them with self-destructive self-talk or behaviors. I can only examine them, learn from them, and fill the rest of my life with things for which I have a passion. I know for certain that I will never turn my weaknesses into strengths but I can work to neutralize them.  The holes – well, those are for God to fill. I’m okay with that.

As a friend, I know I’ve made a few cherished ones along my lifetime. They are precious and constant, no matter the distance of time or space. They are unconditional and truly genuine. On my end, I know that I am loyal and supportive. I may not always be perfect, or do the perfect thing, or say the perfect thing, or have the perfect memory. I can say that I am always true in my intention and love of those who I’m blessed to call mine. I’m okay with that.

As a Christian, I know that I have God in my life. In every up and down I’ve traveled through, I have never wavered in my knowledge that I am loved and I will be okay. As I like to say, God hasn’t abandoned me yet, I’m pretty sure he’s not going to start today. I have learned that it’s just fine for me to speak my faith. I don’t need to hide it. I don’t need to scream it. I can speak and show my faith without tearing down what others believe. I do not need to convince others of what I believe or know – I couldn’t if I tried. I simply need to live my faith and share my story.  The rest is their journey. I’m okay with that.

I say all this, not because I have a perfect life. Haha, that is hysterical because I have a decidedly imperfect life. I make mistakes all the time and I chastise myself for them too. I know I’ll forgive myself but I won’t forget. I have troubles and strife that seem to shadow me to a point that is nearly unbearable. But in the end, I know that I am a survivor and not a victim. I have scratched and clawed myself to a level of integrity and faith that only trouble can guide me to. I know I’m an imperfect woman with a desire to improve all the time. I’m okay with that.

So, through it all and in it all, I am finally at peace with who I am. I pray you can be at peace … and be blessed too!

What’s holding you back?

“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” ~ Denis Waitley

I had an interesting conversation with a colleague today. We were talking about barriers and things that we do that get in our way of moving forward. We all have them. And more likely than not, those around us can see ours most clearly. That’s not because they are right and you are wrong. And it’s definitely not that they are better than you. It’s just that we each are in the proverbial state of being too close to the trees to see the forest.

One of the barriers we talked about is the fear of making the wrong move. For my friend it was not wanting to get ahead of her husband in leading the family in the direction she feels God is showing her. She doesn’t want to drag him along when it’s a collective journey. And for me, sometimes I question myself (ability, knowledge, strength, courage ….) which causes me not to move at all. When I talk to friends they look at me and easily see that it isn’t my inability to do the thing, it’s my own fear that gets in my way. Yeah, I know this about me but I still get hooked by it.

It was an enlightening conversation and I left feeling very empowered and blessed by the exchange. I believe that’s why we are here on this journey together. We all have a different vantage point and can see things from a unique point of view. And we have different skills, abilities and strengths. When we use our full self and all that we have to offer in service of each other then we all get a little further along the path.

For me, I know this means I need to re-examine those things that I whisper to myself. When I’m afraid of something, I need simply to ask a trusted friend to get a sense as to whether it’s a valid fear. If it is, I know those around me will help me through it. And if it’s not – well I have to stop clinging to the fear.

What’s holding you back? Do you know what to do to get past it? I bet somewhere in your life God has placed a special someone who will help you move forward too. Reach out and be blessed!

Be bold, daring and unafraid!

“Be bold, daring and unafraid. Be a leader and explorer. Be a mentor and a friend. Be yourself and be blessed!” ~ Barbara Bernard Miller